


we'll never be as young as we are now

by merlypops



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: 1d, 5SOS - Freeform, Band Fic, Concerts, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, End of an era, Falling In Love, Hotels, Light Angst, M/M, Never Be - 5SOS, Panic Attacks, Rock Out With Your Socks Out, Secret Crush, Song Lyrics, Tour Bus, Touring, Where We Are Tour, little mix - Freeform, one direction - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-16
Updated: 2014-07-16
Packaged: 2018-02-09 02:59:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 5,927
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1966407
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merlypops/pseuds/merlypops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>We'll never be as young as we are now</i>
  <br/>
  <i>It's time to leave this old black and white town</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Let's seize the day</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Let's run away</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Don't let the colours fade to grey</i>
  <br/>
  <i>We'll never be as young as we are now</i>
  <br/>
  <i>As young as we are now</i>
</p><p>'Fighting to stay calm, Ashton sank down onto one knee.<br/>The balcony erupted in excited whispers and Luke’s eyes became as round as saucers as he stared at Ashton, his mouth opening and closing as no sound came out.<br/>“Lucas Robert Hemmings,” Ashton began and he was thrilled at how steady his voice sounded. “I have been in love with you since 2014, and I have fallen a little more in love with you every single day since then. Would you do me the absolute <i>honour</i> of marrying me?”'</p><p>
  <b>Ashton feels like everything is slipping through his fingers, and he needs Luke, Michael and Calum more than he's ever needed anyone.</b>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Where He Belonged

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, guys!
> 
> Uh, first up, I've _never_ written 5SOS fanfiction before so this is not going to be easy... Second, I _kind_ of have the story planned out (in as much as I know the lyrics to "Never Be" which is what this story is based on) but anything could happen to be perfectly honest... I hope you enjoy it!
> 
> Also, at the beginning of each chapter, I will use some of the lyrics from "Never Be" which in some cases - but not all, as demonstrated in this chapter - may give you a clue as to what is going to happen!
> 
> Keep reading! And remember to leave comments and kudos! Thank you! :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _Ashton couldn’t have cared less in that moment because he was here.  
>  Exactly where he belonged._'

_Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh_  
 _Oh whoa whoa oh_

_Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh_  
 _Oh whoa whoa oh_

 

There was something so _exhilarating_ about playing a concert that it took Ashton’s breath away. He knew the other guys probably felt more liberated than him – he was stuck behind a drum kit after all and they got to run around the stage – but it didn’t matter. He could hear the excited screams and smell the sharp tang of thousands and _thousands_ of bodies jumping and dancing and singing together. 

“– and this is our last song tonight!” Michael told the crowd and the screams were deafening. “Without further ado, Wembley, I give you… _She Looks So Perfect_!”

The familiar guitar music sounded and Ashton’s drumsticks beat out a steady rhythm and the pure, unadulterated _joy_ in his chest almost _hurt_ him. It was bubbling out of him and his grin was manic and his curls were falling from his navy bandana and Ashton couldn’t have cared less in that moment because he was _here_.

Exactly where he belonged.


	2. Adrenaline-Spiked Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _Sometimes, once the adrenaline had fizzled out, Ashton is left washed out, tired and shaky and pale and short of breath... Sometimes he even has panic attacks._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I hope you guys are enjoying this!  
> I was toying with not updating yet since it's literally been about ten minutes but I kind of just want to get the whole story uploaded! (Better get writing, eh?)
> 
> Anyway, please remember to leave comments and kudos as they mean the world, and I love to hear what you think!
> 
> Thank you! Keep reading!

_I need your love to light up this house_  
 _I wanna know what you're all about_  
 _I wanna feel you feel you tonight_  
 _I wanna tell you that it's alright_

 

Sometimes, once the adrenaline had fizzled out, Ashton is left washed out, tired and shaky and pale and short of breath. Sometimes he can’t sleep for hours afterwards because, even after the adrenaline has left his system, his heart won’t stop thundering in his chest. Sometimes he even has panic attacks.

He always feels incredibly stupid at times like these, especially since he’s the _oldest_ member of the band! He should be looking after the _others_ , not lying curled up on the tiny sofa in their tour bus while Michael tries to distract him with _terrible_ jokes, Calum tries to get him to drink water like a distressed mother hen, and Luke simply sits in silence with Ashton’s head cushioned in his lap while he strokes his curly hair away from his hot forehead. 

Luke always knows just what to do to make him feel better, even if the circumstances _are_ awful.

They're the times when Ashton feels more uncomfortable and humiliated than he ever does normally. 

They’re also the times that he loves most.


	3. The Evasion Of Sleep

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _Luke could hear ‘_ suspicious noises _’ coming from the ‘currently-hot-pink’-haired boy’s bunk and –_ oh god _, was that_ Calum _in there with him?!_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Long story short, Luke gets traumatised.
> 
> Fun times all round. :P

_I need your love to guide me back home_  
_When I'm with you, I'm never alone_  
_I need to feel you feel you tonight_  
_I need to tell you that it's alright_

 

Luke had always hated the bunks on the tour bus. He was the tallest band member by several inches and, as such, he was the only one whose feet seemed to touch the bottom of the bed. He couldn’t say _why_ it annoyed him so much, only that it did, and that sleep continued to evade him because of it. 

Luke gave up at about three. He knew they didn’t have a show tomorrow so he wasn’t _particularly_ worried. If he felt _that_ inevitably shitty, he’d just claim the sofa and sleep there wearing this pink eye-mask a fan had thrown at him once. He knew Michael would probably crack a rib laughing at him if he did that but, quite honestly, Luke was too tired to even _care_.

And _speaking_ of Michael…

Luke could hear _suspicious noises_ coming from the currently-hot-pink-haired boy’s bunk and – _oh god_ , was that _Calum_ in there with him?! 

Luke hesitated and was seriously considering pulling the curtains aside to confront them about it when he realised that he should have known. It made perfect sense of course, considering how the boys were literally _joined_ at the hip, despite their stupid playful arguments, and Luke found a soft and decidedly _not_ punk smile on his face. 

The pair were actually kind of cute and, despite his better judgement, he found himself wondering if Ashton knew about them, whether by hearing or stumbling in at an inopportune moment. 

Luke kind of wished he’d given Ashton some warning before he pulled the curtain aside because _god_ , that was more of his friend than he’d _ever_ needed to see! 

If Luke hadn’t been so traumatised by everything, he might have found Ashton’s surprised squeak _funny_ but then some of it had landed on his arm and Luke was going to have to use _acid_ now and _fuck_ – no one had told him it was going to be like this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, guys, and please remember to leave comments and kudos! I really hope you're enjoying this!


	4. Ashton's Absolute Favourite Pastime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _It was almost a week before Ashton could look Luke in the eyes again and, even then, his cheeks would heat ridiculously fast and he would give a shy sort of half-smile before fixing his hazel eyes on his feet again in a way that Luke secretly thought was cute._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're all still enjoying this!

_We'll never be as young as we are now_  
 _It's time to leave this old black and white town_  
 _Let's seize the day_  
 _Let's run away_  
 _Don't let the colors fade to grey_  
 _We'll never be as young as we are now_  
 _As young as we are now_

 

It was almost a week before Ashton could look Luke in the eyes again and, even then, his cheeks would heat ridiculously fast and he would give a shy sort of half-smile before fixing his hazel eyes on his feet again. 

Ashton’s chest would flutter in a way so _far_ from a panic attack that he couldn’t even bring himself to worry about it. Because he was about _ninety nine point nine per cent_ certain that it wasn’t anxiety he was feeling, and that the emotions he was experiencing were about as far from that as he could get. 

When Ashton was with Michael and Calum, the knot in his chest loosened a little and he could breathe easier. It wasn’t as difficult to throw his head back and roar with laughter, or fling himself at them for ‘cuddle sessions’ which usually resulted in the entire band cramped together on the sofa while they watched some sort of horror film that nobody was scared of (except perhaps Calum which just so happened to be the funniest thing in the world). 

Ashton loved spending time with Michael and Calum, but it wasn’t the _same_ as hanging out with Luke. 

When it was just the two of them, they’d sit on the sofa with their legs tangled together and swap stupid stories. They’d compare hand size and make ridiculous jokes and share their opinions, and sometimes they’d just hug. It usually ended up with Ashton lying flat on his back with Luke’s hand in his curls as they discussed life, or just lay in companionable silence. 

That was Ashton’s absolute _favourite_ pastime because the knot in his chest completely vanished. Strangely, the drummer could always breathe _perfectly_ when he was with Luke. 

Ashton frowned at the ceiling as he stroked slow circles on Luke’s back through the thin material of his black t-shirt. The younger boy had fallen asleep several minutes previously and Ashton’s breathing felt easier than he could ever remember it _being_ as he copied Luke. 

_Inhale… exhale… inhale… exhale…_

Ashton stared at Luke’s sleeping, vulnerable face and a fierce emotion made itself apparent, bubbling and boiling in his chest as his arms wrapped protectively around Luke and held him closer, determined to keep him as safe as possible. 

A frown danced across the drummer’s features and the fierce protectiveness in his chest turned softer, lighter… became something else. 

Ashton wondered why that was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are still enjoying this!
> 
> Uh... this chapter turned out a _lot_ longer than I expected so hopefully you didn't get bored!
> 
> Stay tuned, and remember to please leave comments and kudos!
> 
> Thank you!


	5. Crooked Smiles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _“So,” Calum began softly, his dark eyes flickering up to make sure that no one else was listening. “When are you going to tell Ash that you’ve got a _giant_ fucking crush on him?”_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys like this chapter! I had a lot of fun writing it!
> 
> Also, the One Direction boys _finally_ make an appearance and even Little Mix gets a mention! :)

_Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh _  
 _Oh whoa whoa oh___

__

__It was during the German leg of their tour as One Direction’s support when the nine boys from both respective bands found themselves lounging in Harry and Louis’ hotel room, since it was the largest of all of theirs._ _

__Niall, Liam, Louis, Harry, Ashton and Michael were playing FIFA, while Zayn stood on the balcony with his laptop, quietly Skyping his girlfriend Perrie Edwards who was one of the singers from the English girl band Little Mix._ _

__Calum had, for once, opted out of playing FIFA which left him sitting with Luke on Harry’s bed as the pair checked their various social media accounts idly on their iPads._ _

__“So,” Calum began softly, his dark eyes flickering up to make sure that no one else was listening. “When are you going to tell Ash that you’ve got a _giant_ fucking crush on him?” _ _

__Luke spluttered and inhaled the water he had been drinking, and Harry shot him the sort of death glare that wouldn’t have looked amiss coming from a _kitten_ when he saw that Luke had spilt water on his bed. However, FIFA quickly reclaimed his attention and, after giving Luke and Calum the _crappiest_ warning look either of them had ever seen – Harry almost ruined it by grinning – he turned back to his game, only to howl in frustration when he realised he had lost. _ _

__While the other boys were all laughing boisterously and generally behaving like five year olds, Luke shot Calum a vaguely terrified look._ _

__“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” he mumbled and Calum’s disbelieving look made Luke _wither_._ _

__His cause wasn’t exactly helped when Ashton looked towards them with his curls flying in all directions and his eyes gleaming with excitement, and gave Luke his very best, warm, crooked smile. Luke returned the smile eagerly and only realised what he had done when Calum cleared his throat and gave his friend a pointed look._ _

__Luke slumped back onto the pillows of Harry’s bed with a low groan._ _

__Why couldn’t things ever be easy?_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are you still enjoying it?  
> Please let me know as I love to hear what you think, and remember to leave comments and kudos please!


	6. Heart To Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _“As touching as this heart to heart admittedly_ is _,” Calum said softly, patting Ashton’s left hip because it was the only part of him that he could reach. “We’ve got thousands of screaming fans waiting for us to perform so we should probably get going.”_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you're still liking it!
> 
> And I had to write a chapter with _some_ angst in it or it would feel like somene else was writing!
> 
> What? It could have been worse... :P

_I see myself here in your eyes_  
 _Stay awake 'till the sunrise_  
 _I want to hold you hold you all night_  
 _I want to tell you that you're all mine_

 

Ashton spent months worrying about what Luke thought of him. 

He was _relatively_ sure that Luke felt the same – or at least _similar_ – but being only ‘ _relatively sure_ ’ was definitely not enough. 

If Ashton told Luke how he felt and was mistaken, Luke might not want to be friends with him anymore. He might get upset or _disgusted_ , and Ashton didn’t know how he’d cope with something like that happening. 

Ashton’s mood was dark when he went to bed that night, and it was only made worse when he woke up the next morning to – in his opinion at least – the worst day of the year: _Fathers Day_.

His sneer was in place before he had even got out of bed that morning, and Ashton was bitter and sharp with his three fellow bandmates all day. He snapped at them over lunch when Michael started messing around with the ketchup and he shouted at Calum for taking too long to get on the tour bus after their meal and, just ten minutes before the second concert of ‘ _Rock Out With Your Socks Out_ ’, Luke confronted him about it. 

“Ash, what the hell is wrong with you today?” he asked, voice cold, but there was a sliver of uncertainty – even _fear_ – in his voice that Ashton just couldn’t _stand_ being the cause of. The runners began bundling them towards the stage then and Luke resisted, gripping Ashton’s sleeve for a long moment before Ashton unwillingly met his gaze. 

The drummer didn’t know what Luke had spotted but the blond’s expression softened and his blue eyes become a touch brighter as he blinked quickly. Luke wiped his eyes uncharacteristically with his sleeve and, suddenly, Ashton was enveloped in the taller boy’s arms, breathing in the familiar comforting smell and trying not to cry because there was _so_ not time for that right now. 

“Fathers Day is a shit time of year for you, Ash,” Luke said softly. “I know. _Believe me_ , I know. You’re my best friend and I love you to pieces, but you _can’t_ keep treating Mikey and Cal like this. They’re your best friends too and they don’t deserve it! All we want is for you to be happy and if you need to talk to us, you know you can, Ash, okay?” 

Ashton sniffed and nodded, glancing over Luke’s shoulder, and spotting Michael and Calum hovering awkwardly nearby. Ashton’s breath came in gasps and, after taking one look at his face, Michael and Calum came over too, both of them wrapping their arms around Ashton and Luke, and holding them close. 

“Don’t be sad, Ash,” Michael said softly. “We already _know_ you’re a diva. It’s nothing new.” 

Calum murmured similar things and Ashton _knew_ he’d been forgiven but it didn't make the ache in his chest feel any better. “I love you guys,” he mumbled into Luke’s neck, feeling like a prize idiot. “You deserve better than that.” 

“As touching as this heart to heart admittedly _is_ ,” Calum said softly, patting Ashton’s left hip because it was the only part of him that he could reach. “We’ve got thousands of screaming fans waiting for us to perform so we should probably get going.” 

“Good point,” Michael said and then the hug was over and everyone was stepping back. Ashton gave Luke a watery smile before Calum put his arm around his waist and led him away, and Michael gave Luke a funny look because the blond boy had suddenly flushed a _burning_ red. 

“What? What’s wrong? Do I have ketchup on my face? Am I wearing one of your shirts?” Michael asked with feigned panic. “ _What_?!”

Luke just shook his head. 

He had told Ashton he _loved_ him. 

Oops. 

Michael rolled his eyes then and walked off after the others, patting Luke on the bum as he walked past. “Come on then, princess,” he smirked. “Let’s go and make thousands of little girls wet their knickers. And stop gawping like that. You’ll catch flies.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked this chapter!
> 
> Please remember to leave comments and kudos!
> 
> The end is near! (Well... I'd guess about 5 more chapters or so but... still... near-ish...)


	7. Might Not Get Another Chance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's happening...

_I feel our hands intertwined_   
_Hear our hearts beating in time_   
_I need to hold you hold you all night_   
_I need to tell you that you're all mine_

 

The ‘ _Rock Out With Your Socks Out_ ’ tour was finally over and it was with a heavy heart and a melancholy feeling in the air that the four boys boarded their tour bus again. 

The tour had gone so well that it was pretty much a _guarantee_ that they would have another in 2016 or perhaps 2017, so there was really no need to feel so _down_. That didn’t make a blind bit of difference though. 

Ashton’s _heart_ hurt and, without the distraction of the screaming fans and the deafening music and the pure _ecstasy_ of playing to _stadiums_ of people who were there _just for them_ , there would be nothing to distract Ashton from his feelings for Luke. 

The older boy was just darting down the corridor to get back to his bunk when he saw that the curtains were closed, whereas every _other_ bunk had the curtains open. Ashton _knew_ that he had left them open and, with a racing pulse as he considered that there might be some kind of crazed _fan_ in there or something, Ashton wrenched the curtains back. 

And stared. 

“Luke?” Ashton frowned, climbing into his bunk and crossing his legs beneath him. Luke mirrored the movement and their knees brushed gently together. Ashton’s palms began to sweat. “Lukey, what’s wrong?” he asked softly but Luke was staring down at his folded hands in his lap and he didn’t reply. 

Ashton was surprised when Luke pulled the curtains shut roughly and he was even more shocked when Luke finally looked up at him and Ashton saw his face. 

“Don’t look so sad, Mini Man,” Ashton whispered because he didn’t know what to do. Luke’s expression was nothing short of fucking _anguished_ as he huddled up in the darkness, sucking on his lip ring and regarding Ashton with frightened eyes. 

“Luke, tell me what’s wrong,” Ashton begged. “I can help you. Or… I don’t know. Just _please_ tell me.” 

Luke muttered something under his breath and, when he saw Ashton’s confusion, his cheeks flamed and he spoke a little louder. “I’m scared you’ll hate me.” 

“I could never hate you, Lukey,” Ashton promised, and it was _true_.

Luke could proclaim to the entire world that he was actually a bloody _cannibal_ that _really_ liked eating twenty one year old Australian boys and Ashton would probably _still_ love him and –

 _Love_ him…

Did Ashton _love_ Luke? 

Ashton was silent for a moment as he thought about it, and then his cheeks flamed scarlet. Fortunately, it was dark so Luke couldn’t see. _Un_ fortunately, he was in love with his best friend. 

‘Oh _shit_ ,’ Ashton thought with mild terror. 

He was in love with Luke! 

Ashton shook this thought away. It was terrifying and _true_ but there was time to deal with it. Right now he needed to focus on Luke. 

“I…” The blond boy’s voice faded and he looked up at Ashton quickly, his blue eyes searching his face, examining every inch of it. It was almost like he was trying to commit it to memory, like he might not get another chance…

 _God_ , what was Luke going to _say_?!

“Ash, I…” Luke took a very deep, steadying breath and Ashton copied the action, suddenly cringing when he realised how tight his chest felt. “Ashton Irwin… I think I’m in love with you.” 

Ashton forgot how to breathe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliff hanger? Sort of... *evil smile*
> 
> Please remember to leave comments and kudos, and stay tuned! The next update will be _very_ soon!


	8. The Man Band

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _“_ Ash _–” Luke half-squeaked and his voice was several octaves higher than usual. “Fuck, I never knew you –_ god _, we could have been doing this for_ months _!_ ”
> 
>  _Which was, of course, the exact moment that Michael pull the curtains apart with a shit-eating grin on his face and Calum did a sort of celebratory dance._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of the second half of the last chapter...
> 
> Enjoy!

_We'll never be as young as we are now_   
_It's time to leave this old black and white town_   
_Let's seize the day_   
_Let's run away_   
_Don't let the colors fade to grey_   
_We'll never be as young as we are now_   
_As young as we are now_

 

“Ash…” Luke was white as he sat cross-legged on the bed, his heart racing in his chest. “Ash, please say something. Please.”

Ashton appeared to have forgotten how to breathe but, despite his panting gasps, he clutched at Luke’s collar and tried to convey without words that he felt the same.

“Ash?” Luke asked, hardly daring to hope. “Ash, you’ve gotta say it. I don’t know what you’re…”

Ashton suddenly swayed, despite the fact that he was sitting down, and Luke panicked, holding the older boy close and breathing deeply in and out for Ashton to copy. Luke stroked his hair, his thumb gently stroking Ashton’s jaw, and the drummer finally managed to regain control of his breathing, only to look up into Luke’s loving and decidedly _not_ punk face, and almost lose it again.

“I think I’m in love with you too,” Ashton breathed, his cheek pressed gently against Luke’s chest as the blond boy stared down at him with something akin to awe.

It seemed to take Luke a few moments to process Ashton’s words but, when he did, he made a little shaky sound – almost a sob – and then, somehow, they were kissing.

Ashton’s hand wound into Luke’s hair and Luke cradled Ashton so gently in his arms, holding him like he was made of glass as their mouths met again and again as they kissed, gentle and so unbearably _sweet_ , and Ashton was so overcome with how warm and happy and _safe_ he felt, that he thought his heart might be breaking.

“ _Ash_ –” Luke half-squeaked and his voice was several octaves higher than usual. “Fuck, I never knew you – _god_ , we could have been doing this for _months_!”

Which was, of course, the exact moment that Michael pulled the curtains apart with a shit-eating grin on his face and Calum did a sort of celebratory dance.

“I fucking _told_ you, Mikey!” Calum crowed. “You owe me twenty dollars!”

“ _What_?!” Michael exclaimed, his grin suddenly a frown. “I betted _on_ this happening, and you were against! Cal, don’t look at me like that! Cal, I _did_! _Cal_!”

Luke rolled his eyes and, after timidly taking Ashton’s hand to help him out of the bunk, the blond boy climbed down on shaky legs.

“See, this is why I _knew_ being in a boy band was a bad idea,” he muttered bitterly but, before anyone else could comment, Michael had tackled him and sent him sprawling onto the ground with a surprisingly vicious growl which sounded remarkably like: “We’re not a ‘ _boy band_ ’!”

Apparently Michael had already forgiven Calum for their betting disagreement and, quite honestly, Ashton didn’t want to _think_ about what Calum might have promised him to get him to shut up. He just didn’t want Michael to break Luke.

“Mikey…” Calum gave Michael a look that he usually reserved for very, _very_ stupid people. “We’re all boys. And we’re in a band. What the fuck do you _think_ we are?!”

“A man band!” Michael shouted desperately. “We’re a fucking _man band_ , Cal!”

Luke snorted with laughter despite himself and, from his space pinned on the floor by Michael, he exchanged an amused, adoring look with Ashton.

Luke had to admit that ‘ _man band_ ’ certainly had a ring to it.

He said as much and, as the others grinned, he quickly added: “Except that’s incorrect. Calum doesn’t have to shave yet.”

“Oi, fuck off!” Calum yelled as Ashton cackled, no longer breathless luckily. “Get him, Mikey!”

The next few minutes were a blur of tickling and squirming and too-bright pink hair.

Luke found he didn’t mind very much.

He was too happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It worries me how much I enjoy writing Michael....
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed that!
> 
> I don't know if I'll finish the story today - I almost certainly will - but I'll give it my best shot!
> 
> Thank you for reading and, as always, please leave comments and kudos!
> 
> Stay tuned! :)


	9. Not Very Punk At All

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _“Don’t cover it up,” Ashton said in a much softer voice and the love in his eyes was unmistakable. “You’re beautiful.”_ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This made me so happy to write, you have no idea :) <3 
> 
> I hope you like it!

_We won't wait_  
 _For tomorrow_  
 _It's too late_  
 _We don't follow_

_We won't wait_  
 _For tomorrow_  
 _It's too late_  
 _We don't follow_

 

“You’re not very punk at all, Lukey, you know that?” Ashton grinned as he propped his head up in his palm, his elbow resting on the pillow. 

“Is this because you _think_ I cried when you got me off last night?” he asked in a pretend-cross voice that was _so_ ineffective that Ashton literally felt like he was talking to a grumpy puppy. 

“Nope,” he said brightly. “Although you _did_ cry. And is it any wonder? I do have _excellent_ fingers.” 

Luke blushed then and Ashton gave a delighted smile. 

“No, Lukey boy! _That_ is why you are not very punk!” 

“What do you mean?” Luke asked in an airy voice as he attempted to cover his cheeks with his hands. It didn’t really work because, as Ashton watched him with undisguised fondness, the tips of Luke’s ears went red too. 

“Don’t cover it up,” Ashton said in a much softer voice and the love in his eyes was unmistakable. “You’re beautiful.” 

Luke mouthed wordlessly for so long that Ashton actually started to get anxious, fearing he had overstepped some unspoken boundary – although honestly, they had done _everything_ together now! They _had_ to be passed that stage by this point!

Luke was still watching Ashton with wide, surprisingly wet eyes, and then he gave a watery smile and lunged forwards, pressing his lips firmly to Ashton’s. 

They kissed for several long, heated minutes and, breathless, Luke pulled back a little, just far enough away that their noses brushed together lightly. 

“I love you, Ash,” he whispered and it was the first time he’d said it like that, said it _properly_.

Ashton’s heart swelled with so much love that he thought it might burst as he recaptured Luke’s lips with his own. 

“I love you too, Luke,” he gasped and a weight he hadn’t even realised he had been _carrying_ left his shoulders. 

“I love you so fucking much,” Ashton repeated and Luke’s eyes were teary and so _adoring_ that it almost hurt to look at. 

Almost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, I hope you liked that!
> 
> Now there are only 2 or 3 chapters left which will be put up either today or tomorrow!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this update, and please remember to leave comments and kudos! That would be awesome :)


	10. A Natural Conclusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ' _In 2022, Five Seconds of Summer’s days came to a natural end._ '

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually got sad writing this chapter, no lie.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it though!

_We'll never be as young as we are now_  
 _It's time to leave this old black and white town_  
 _Let's seize the day_  
 _Let's run away_  
 _Don't let the colors fade to grey_  
 _We'll never be as young as we are now_  
 _As young as we are now_

 

In 2022, Five Seconds of Summer’s days came to a natural end. 

The band had played five extended tours and their fanbase was _enormous_ now but, as time went on, the boys – or _men_ now – found new things they wanted to pursue. Calum and Michael were getting married, Luke had been offered a job with the company that had managed them back in Sydney in their early days, and Ashton had been offered the opportunity to have a regular spot as a DJ on his favourite radio show back home.

It might have seemed like an anticlimax to some but, after over a decade as a world-famous band, an anticlimax was just what they needed. 

The only things that _didn’t_ change were that Calum still begged his fiancé not to dye his hair different colours and Michael still ignored him, and Luke and Ashton were still each other’s one and only, loving each other a little more every day. 

“Things are going to be okay,” Luke stated as he sat beside Ashton on the plane. It was already nearing Australia and, after spending _hours and hours_ sitting in the same seat, Luke just wanted to get up, run around, and breathe in some air that wasn’t recycled.

He noticed Ashton looking at him curiously and offered a mild, half-shrug. 

“Everything seemed so massive and scary when we were younger,” he said slowly as his sparkling blue eyes took in Ashton’s intense hazel gaze and the gentle smile dancing across his lips as the air conditioning playfully tousled his curls. “Now things seem simpler. _Better_.”

“We’re all with the person we love,” Ashton commented, nodding a little smugly. “I see where you’re coming from, Lukey.” 

Luke raised an eyebrow at Ashton’s choice of words but chose not to comment, instead simply smiling as he sat back in his seat and squeezed Ashton’s hand gently. 

Calum and Michael’s wedding was in a few days’ time and, for the first time in a _long_ time, everything was right with the world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are now only two chapters left and I promise they're really cute and fluffy and stuff!
> 
> Thank you guys so much for reading, and please remember to leave comments and kudos, because it means the world!
> 
> <3


	11. A Perfect Fit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my god, I was so scared of writing this chapter so I I hope you guys like this!
> 
> Please let me know and remember to leave comments and kudos!
> 
> Thank you! :)

_Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh_   
_Oh whoa whoa oh_

_Oh whoa whoa oh, oh oh oh_   
_Oh whoa whoa oh_

 

Ashton’s heart was racing as he put his cutlery down on the plate, and his hands were shaking so much that the metal made a loud clatter as it hit the crockery. Ashton knew he must look a state. He’d caught sight of himself on the way in and, despite his best efforts, he was pale and looked vaguely terrified.

That might well have explained why Luke had looked so on _edge_ throughout dinner.

“Ash?” Luke asked softly, glancing around and blushing that beautiful rosy red when he saw that several people were looking. They were eating their dinner on the balcony of a nice restaurant that Ashton had booked and, despite there being perhaps three of four other tables full of diners, the night was surprisingly still and quiet, especially when it was taken into account that Michael and Calum were dining there too.

Ashton looked so nervous that people began to glance at him as he walked around the table towards Luke, and Michael and Calum could suddenly be seen hovering by the open doorway as golden light spilled out into the night, their expressions excited and jubilant and _knowing_. Ashton kept his eyes fixed firmly on Luke’s, lest nervousness get the better of him and he panic and make his excuses (again).

“Ashton, where are you going?” Luke asked cautiously and the drummer’s breathing eased.

Ashton observed Luke for a long moment in the dusk, seeming to draw courage from his steady gaze, and he took a deep, shaky breath, throwing his head up to look at the stars in the purplish-black sky for several seconds before he looked back down at Luke, calm now.

He saw the anxiety on Luke’s face and vowed to rid him of that as quickly as possible.

Fighting to stay calm, Ashton sank down onto one knee.

The balcony erupted in excited whispers and Luke’s eyes became as round as saucers as he stared at Ashton, his mouth opening and closing as no sound came out.

“Lucas Robert Hemmings,” Ashton began and he was thrilled at how steady his voice sounded. “I have been in love with you since 2014, and I have fallen a little more in love with you every single day since then.” Luke’s eyes were swimming with tears and he was smiling so wide it looked like it hurt. “Luke, you’re…”

Ashton fell quiet for a moment and the balcony was silent. The wind blew softly, coolly, and the cutlery rattled on the table, the clinks of metal seeming to rouse Ashton from his thoughts.

“Luke, being in Five Seconds of Summer and getting to play for _stadiums_ full of people there just for _us_ was amazing, and getting to spend every single day with my best friends was even better,” Ashton said and Luke gave another watery smile, nodding weakly in silent agreement. “All of that was great but… but _none_ of that compares to you, Luke.”

Luke’s smile widened and the tears coursed freely down his cheeks. Ashton had to blink hard himself to keep himself from crying.

“Luke, you are the best thing that has _ever_ happened to me and, if you’ll accept, I would love to spend every single day I have left with you.” He extracted the small, black velvet ring box from his pocket and opened it carefully, revealing a beautiful but understated white-gold ring with a single diamond in it. Luke gasped and the love in his eyes was blinding.

“Lucas Robert Hemmings,” Ashton repeated and his heart was in his throat. “Would you do me the absolute _honour_ of marrying me?”

There was a moment of absolute, deadly silence as Luke fought to catch his breath and then, in a swift, elegant, fluid movement that Ashton’s hazel eyes followed almost _hungrily_ , Luke was standing in front of him, his cheeks still wet with tears and his eyes red from crying, and that _stupidly_ sexy lip ring he still insisted on wearing shining in the starlight.

Luke was the single most beautiful thing that Ashton had ever seen.

“Ashton Fletcher Irwin,” Luke breathed, keeping his words soft so that his voice wouldn’t have a chance to break. “I accept.”

Ashton’s lips crushed against Luke’s and everyone was cheering, and Calum was taking photos and Michael was catcalling, and it was the best moment of Ashton’s life.

“I love you,” Ashton breathed against Luke’s lips and the tears that he had been holding back began to slide down his cheeks. “So much, Luke. God, so much.”

“I love you too,” Luke breathed shakily, breaking their gaze only long enough to see the beautiful ring slipped onto his finger before he looked up again, his eyes shining with love. “It’s a perfect fit.”

“Just like us,” Ashton said and Luke couldn’t find it in himself to disagree.

Their lips met once more and Calum _beamed_ as he snapped another photograph.

Michael burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M CRYING I'M CRYING!!!! <3 :'D 
> 
> (Only the epilogue left!)


	12. The End Of An Era

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am actually crying real tears right now. It's a bit pathetic.
> 
> Anyway, ignoring that! I hope you all enjoy this final update! (What an emotional afternoon I've had writing this!)

_As young as we are now_

 

Ashton and Luke climbed out of their car, only to be greeted by Michael and Calum enveloping them in a hug.

“I’m so glad you two could make it,” Calum told them and Michael’s smile was sincere. “Come on, come inside. Come and meet him!” 

Ashton smiled fondly at the excitement on his two best friends’ faces as he took Luke’s hand firmly in his own. 

“Where is the little guy anyway?” Luke asked conversationally as the four of them started back towards the house. 

“He’s with Mali,” Calum explained and Ashton and Luke smiled, nodding. They both liked Calum’s sister and they hadn’t seen her for some time so it would be an added bonus of seeing her today too. 

“Bubba’s very excited,” Michael warned them as Calum carefully opened the door, making sure that he wasn’t going to hit any boisterous toddlers on the other side. “We told him you were visiting a few days ago and he’s been watching YouTube videos of you guys ever since. Calum’s been helping him stalk your Facebook accounts too.” 

Ashton snorted with laughter and Luke raised an eyebrow, doing his best not to look amused. 

“I’m… not sure how I feel about that,” he joked and Calum grinned, rolling his eyes as they neared a closed door at the end. 

“He’s in here,” Michael said excitedly, running a hand nervously through his fiery red hair. Some things never changed. “Come in, come in!” 

Calum and Michael entered the room and Luke hovered with Ashton in the hallway as they heard excited chattering followed by a tense silence. They were waiting for them. 

Ashton stuck his head around the door and Luke appeared behind him, and they were both greeted by the three adults smiling cheerfully at them, and the eager, thrilled babbling of Michael and Calum’s adopted son Joshua charging towards them. 

“Awww!” Ashton exclaimed, his already-enormous smile stretching his face as Joshua wrapped himself around Ashton’s leg and gave him a massive toothy smile. “He’s gorgeous!” 

Luke seemed to be doing his best not to coo at Joshua but he caved after a few moments, crouching down inelegantly and shaking the little boy’s hand. Joshua giggled delightedly and threw himself forwards, wrapping his tiny arms around Luke’s neck and clinging on. Luke held Joshua securely and stood up, swinging him around and tickling him so that the little boy’s laughter filled Michael and Calum’s home. 

Ashton’s expression was so tender and adoring that Luke was quite certain he knew what Ashton was going to say before he even _said_ it. 

“Luke, I think I might be getting broody. Can someone tell me what getting broody _feels_ like? Because I think that might be me.” 

Luke sniggered despite himself and his eyes were just as hopeful as Ashton’s. 

“I think I might know just how you’re feeling, Ash,” he grinned and Ashton looked so happy that Luke wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d started _dancing_ or something. 

“Cal, Ash and Lukey are copying us,” Michael complained jokingly. “We got married so _they_ got married, and now they want to steal our boy-child!” 

Mali laughed and Calum rolled his eyes, trying not to look amused and wondering why he even bothered. “Mikey, they’re not _copying_ us – and even if they were, can you _blame_ them? We have _excellent_ ideas!” Calum paused, frowning. “And stop calling Joshua ‘ _boy-child_ ’! It’s weird!” 

Mali giggled at their antics and got up, murmuring something about making hot drinks for everyone. She patted Luke and Ashton on the shoulder as she passed with a soft: “It’s lovely to see you both again.” Still smiling, she turned to Calum and he nodded. Mali scooped Joshua up and asked him if he wanted to help her in the kitchen, and the little boy clung to her excitedly as the pair left. 

The four former members of Five Seconds of Summer were left sitting in a contented silence in the living room. Ashton and Luke’s packing for their permanent move to Perth was almost complete, and Michael and Calum were still looking for suitable, more quiet towns that they could raise their son in. 

“It’s the end of an era, isn’t it?” Michael asked softly and he seemed to be saying what everyone else was thinking. 

Despite this, Calum shook his head. 

“It’s not the end, Mikey,” he said softly and, as the pair looked at each other, so did Ashton and Luke, clasping hands tightly as they gazed into each other’s eyes. “We’ll all keep in touch and meet up all the time. You _know_ we will.” 

Michael muttered something else about ‘ _the end_ ’ in a sad little voice and Calum shook his head again, more firmly this time as he gave all three of them an encouraging smile. 

“This isn’t the end,” he promised, and his words were clear and strong, and he’d said those words once before, when Five Seconds of Summer was over. All four of them gave watery smiles then and spoke together, repeating the words from what felt like an entire lifetime ago: 

“This is only the beginning.” 

 

**_Fin_ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you all enjoy this story?
> 
> Please let me know by comments and kudos - I'd love to hear what you thought!
> 
> I've had bits of this story trapped in my head for weeks and it feels a bit scary letting everyone read them now but hopefully you've enjoyed reading it. I know I've loved writing it.
> 
> Thank you for reading. <3


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